Tag Archives: mental-health

Bouncing Back

Will you be ready when your life changes on a dime? Will you have the coping skills to recover from unexpected heartbreak? Will you have the motivation to get the job of your dreams once you’ve been fired? It’s not easy to pack up and move when your spouse gets re-located. Again. Life has a way of deciding for you when you’re too hesitant or scared to choose for yourself. Put some of these tips in your toolbox the next time something unanticipated comes your way.

Attitude is EVERYTHING!

You cannot control the circumstances that surround you but you are in control of one thing, YOU. Attitude IS everything BUT it is ok to appropriately grieve. It’s okay to feel sad and angry when your lover has betrayed you. It’s okay to feel disappointed to be let go of a job. It is okay to regret houses, jobs, pets and friends lost due to moving too many times. Allow yourself time to feel and fully experience these emotions. Expect difficulties. There will be stretches when you’re fine and other periods, not so much. With time, the overwhelming episodes will subside in frequency and intensity.  It is NOT okay, however, to wallow in self-pity and condemnation. This serves no purpose. You have the power to change the story you tell yourself. It is your responsibility to control your inner conversation. The one that tells you you’re not good enough or not worthy or is doomed to fail or be alone. Take a closer look at what you are saying to yourself. Enthusiasm begets enthusiasm. You DO become what you think. A negative event can awaken ambition, motivation, and persistence, which leads to progress and success.

Don’t Place Blame

Looking for someone outside of yourself to blame for your current situation takes the responsibility off you and puts it on someone or something else. This wastes negative energy trying to find fault or justify and defend why you are the victim. The reality is no one cares. Your friends and family will listen for a minute while you rant about the unfairness of downsizing, divorcing, moving or a litany of things gone wrong. You need to think about how to adjust to the new situation and either fix it, improve it, or make the most of it. Sometimes, you just need to find the lesson and move on.

Nourish Your Body and Soul

Times of change, welcome or not, produces great stress. Now more than ever take the time to eat right, drink plenty of water and get some fresh air and sunshine. Rest and relaxation are equally important. Journaling can be a form of mediation and a great way to express any repetitive thought patterns that arise from unexpected transitions. Run it out. Write it out. But let it out and let it go.

New Vision

It is never too late to reinvent your life. Unexpected change is a time for just that. What are you passionate about? Take time to reflect on who you are and what you want your life to look like. Is it time to go back to school? Quit your job and travel? Go into business for yourself? Take an art or dance class? Find what excites you and pursue it. Focus only on the present moment and what you can do right now to create your best life.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on the old but on building the new.” — Socrates

Live in your truth,

Tonya

Spring Cleaning: Ridding Yourself of Toxic People

Seven days. Just seven more days until we claim ALL of our house back. You may have noticed that my weekly blog hasn’t been so weekly. In fact, it hasn’t even been monthly. Back in January, my husband and I moved from our tiny, cozy apartment into a gigantic 3,000 square foot house situated on almost three acres. Along with Trent, who’s 15 and already lives with us, we invited our almost 20 year old daughter and her on-again-off-again “boyfriend” to move in as well. My husband and I thought this was a great idea as they would have their own space, be able to save some money, and if they “broke up” at least she would be home and he would have to go.

Well. Here we are two months later and we are counting down the days until they move back out. I love her to death, him not so much. I was willing to put how I felt about him aside and come from a place of understanding and compassion because it seemed the right thing to do. That lasted five minutes. I won’t bore you with the myriad of reasons why I can’t even tolerate being in the same room with this kid. But I do know this. Having tension and negative energy permeating my home has taken its toll on ALL of the occupants, even my pets! I am not a hater and I refuse to let the immature actions of someone I don’t care to know make me into one.

Negative energy, people, relationships can all have an effect on your health just as much as crappy food and sitting around the house watching television. Today’s moral? Rid yourself of anyone in your life who does not encourage, support or add anything positive to your life. The sooner the better. For us? Just seven more days…

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Stay Vibrant!
Tonya

“Food” for Thought

GMO. BPA. MSG. Foreign, toxic, highly allergenic ingredients most of you eat or are exposed to daily. You know about pollutants in the air you breath and the chemicals in the water you drink. Conventional produce. Vaccines. Amalgams. All deadly to your wellbeing. But you are further poisoning yourself by what you expose your thought life to. The movies you watch. The music you listen to. The news you read. The job you do. The people you choose to spend time with. Was that movie inspiring?  Is the music uplifting?  Does your job give you purpose? How about the people you hang out with, do they motivate you to be your best self?

Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I do know one thing. I don’t roll out of bed in the morning and head straight for the television. And for some reason, the last few weeks, my husband is obsessed with the Today Show. No offense, Matt, Savannah, Natalie, Al, but I really prefer the early morning quiet with my cup of hot tea while I’m making breakfast for the boy, instead of the sound of my über sensitive husband crying on the couch because of yet another tragedy. The disappearance and consequent murder of little Jessica. The soon-to-be-extinct red orangutans. The unfairness of Natalie at the news desk instead of as co-host. He insists he NEEDS to keep up with current events. Fine. I get that. But he has USA Today on his phone. And all the news updates he could ever want on the new computer in his office. On the giant, up-close-and-personal, 32″ monitor no less. Why, oh, why does he have to expose me to it? There’s no escaping. The living/kitchen area is connected and the T.V. is right there in my face. I am well aware of the murder and mayhem, crime and corruption, worries and war that are happening in the world and in my neighborhood. I just don’t want to hear about it on a daily basis. Especially first thing in the morning. Please, honey.

And what about the silent movie that plays over and over again in your own mind? The constant drone of not being good enough. Or pretty enough. Or thin or happy or rich enough. Well, dear readers, guess what?  Your health is as affected by the thoughts you think as by the foods you eat. Garbage in. garbage out. Forget about your weaknesses and focus on your strengths. Reassess what is relevant and valuable to your life and ditch the rest. Surround yourself with positive people. Know your purpose. Every day is a new chance to remake, recreate and redirect your thoughts and energy. The ability to transform your life starts NOW!

Be Vibrant!

Tonya