Tag Archives: Life

Bouncing Back

Will you be ready when your life changes on a dime? Will you have the coping skills to recover from unexpected heartbreak? Will you have the motivation to get the job of your dreams once you’ve been fired? It’s not easy to pack up and move when your spouse gets re-located. Again. Life has a way of deciding for you when you’re too hesitant or scared to choose for yourself. Put some of these tips in your toolbox the next time something unanticipated comes your way.

Attitude is EVERYTHING!

You cannot control the circumstances that surround you but you are in control of one thing, YOU. Attitude IS everything BUT it is ok to appropriately grieve. It’s okay to feel sad and angry when your lover has betrayed you. It’s okay to feel disappointed to be let go of a job. It is okay to regret houses, jobs, pets and friends lost due to moving too many times. Allow yourself time to feel and fully experience these emotions. Expect difficulties. There will be stretches when you’re fine and other periods, not so much. With time, the overwhelming episodes will subside in frequency and intensity.  It is NOT okay, however, to wallow in self-pity and condemnation. This serves no purpose. You have the power to change the story you tell yourself. It is your responsibility to control your inner conversation. The one that tells you you’re not good enough or not worthy or is doomed to fail or be alone. Take a closer look at what you are saying to yourself. Enthusiasm begets enthusiasm. You DO become what you think. A negative event can awaken ambition, motivation, and persistence, which leads to progress and success.

Don’t Place Blame

Looking for someone outside of yourself to blame for your current situation takes the responsibility off you and puts it on someone or something else. This wastes negative energy trying to find fault or justify and defend why you are the victim. The reality is no one cares. Your friends and family will listen for a minute while you rant about the unfairness of downsizing, divorcing, moving or a litany of things gone wrong. You need to think about how to adjust to the new situation and either fix it, improve it, or make the most of it. Sometimes, you just need to find the lesson and move on.

Nourish Your Body and Soul

Times of change, welcome or not, produces great stress. Now more than ever take the time to eat right, drink plenty of water and get some fresh air and sunshine. Rest and relaxation are equally important. Journaling can be a form of mediation and a great way to express any repetitive thought patterns that arise from unexpected transitions. Run it out. Write it out. But let it out and let it go.

New Vision

It is never too late to reinvent your life. Unexpected change is a time for just that. What are you passionate about? Take time to reflect on who you are and what you want your life to look like. Is it time to go back to school? Quit your job and travel? Go into business for yourself? Take an art or dance class? Find what excites you and pursue it. Focus only on the present moment and what you can do right now to create your best life.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on the old but on building the new.” — Socrates

Live in your truth,

Tonya

Resolution Solution

Day two of 2015. How many of you have made a resolution or two? What is it this time? Lose the same ten pounds you were determined to lose last year? Quit smoking? Again. Exercise more? I’m betting most of you don’t have Mark Zuckerberg sized challenges. Learning Mandarin? Ok, so his it’s the primary language of his wife’s family. But tell the truth. Many of you have “resolved” to do or not do certain things for an entire year. Let’s face it. This is totally unrealistic. Used as a verb, resolve, according to the dictionary, means to bring an end to or find a solution for something. What this really translates to is taking those monumental things that you want to change, challenge or just plain give up and break them down into manageable, bite-sized pieces. By the way, Mr. Zuckerberg did not learn Mandarin in one year. He’s been studying the language since 2010 but focused his energy in 2014 to become “conversational” which he did. Bravo, considering it’s a very difficult language to learn.

You know what compound interest is, right? It’s interest that is calculated on both the principle and the accrued interest. For instance, would you take a million dollars right now or a penny doubled every day for thirty days? Most would take the quick and easy million, not giving the lowly doubled-every-day-penny a second thought. But because of “compounding” that penny will worth be worth more than five million dollars on day 30!

The same is true for most of you. It’s not a knowing or a doing problem. It’s changing the way you think. It’s what you think and believe that drives your actions. The actions required to keep our resolutions are easy to do but they are just as easy not to do. Eating a McDonald’s cheeseburger and fries won’t make you fat or give you heart disease–today. Running on the treadmill for an hour and having a salad won’t make you fit–today. But think about these same choices, or any actions that will help get you where you’re going and you have the recipe for failure or success. Success in anything is built. Slowly and gradually, day in and day out, based on the choices we make DAILY. It is a process not a destination. We plant, we cultivate, we harvest. The results are not instantaneous. The secret is TIME. We want to plant (say, lose weight) and then harvest right away (I didn’t eat all day and I didn’t lose a pound!), forgetting the most important part-to cultivate (daily disciplines done over time).

Don’t look for shortcuts, there are none. Hang out with like-minded people who support you and inspire you to reach your goals. Read ten pages of of a life-transforming book every day. Refuse to be swayed by attitudes, moods or feelings and get it done…regardless!

May y’all have an adventurous, joy, laughter and love-filled, most prosperous year ever! Happy 2015!

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Stay Vibrant!
Tonya

Birthday Blessings

Forty-nine years ago today something special happened. I did not know it at the time. It was the day a certain man was born. He’s had some challenging times in life but his contagious, positive, can-do attitude inspires those around him, especially me. He motivates me, encourages me, supports me, no matter what crazy endeavor or project I’m in to. He is devoted to the loving care of his family. He’s a quick wit, always ready with a joke and a smile. He is determined that the kids should have a smooth, struggle-free life, not understanding that they’re going to do things their way, the hard way. He wants them to feel loved and safe and protected from the ugliness and hardship that is prevalent in today’s world. He works hard to provide the necessities as well as the extras not just for the one teenager (and all his friends) left at home, but for all of them, grown or otherwise. He blesses me everyday with his love, his passion and his loyalty.

I want it all with him. The flaws, stress, smiles, affection, sarcasm. Everything. My life has led me to him. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. It was all worth it. Because if I had done just one thing different, I might never have met him.

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Stay Vibrant!
Tonya

I Have Proof!

That’s right. I have proof. I have proof that eating real food on a regular basis supports health. Eliminating the three-scoops-of-rocky-road-ice cream-banana-splits, complete with marshmallow topping, whipped cream and cherries, was the beginning.

Really, the beginning was my husband’s blood work from earlier this year that showed he was on track for diabetes and heart issues. Fasting blood sugar high. Triglycerides, or “bad” cholesterol, were high and “good” or HDL cholesterol were low. Markers for inflammation, in the high risk range. Below normal vitamin D levels. Low “T”, or testosterone which, thankfully, produced no symptoms beyond a bit of fatigue. Wink, wink.

It was time to go food nazi on my man. It’s like the wife whose husband is a house painter or a landscaper and they live in the ugliest house on the block. Here I am, a nutritional health coach, and my own husband is at risk for potential health issues. Not a great testimony.

He was very compliant after my initial excitement over his test results. I asked him to please do things my way for four months and we’ll go from there. He agreed. He quit his after dinner snacking on sweets. He took his lunch that I made instead of eating out every day. He gave up grande, white chocolate mochas. Up until last week, he hasn’t been near ice cream. I fed and continue to feed him LOTS of vegetables, plenty of protein, a bit of fruit, lots of avocados and almonds and very little else. We do eat a bit of rice or potatoes and have tortillas but only once in a while. I cooked chicken and burgers in bacon fat and couldn’t help conventional wisdom whispering in my ear that all that saturated fat was killing my husband.

But guess what. It didn’t. In fact, my husband is close to being in the best shape of his life. He had already lost about 15 pounds before he was forced to be more diligent with his fork. Now, more than four months later, he’s down a total of 60 pounds! Normal blood sugar! Cholesterol ratios much improved! Marker of inflammation from high risk to low! Testosterone up and vitamin D went from below normal to close to optimal! No medicine or prescription drugs! Just real, fresh food and a few carefully selected supplements!

I’m sure, if left to his own devices, my husband would not choose as wisely as often, but that’s what he has me for. He says he wants to do yoga with me now…

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Stay Vibrant!
Tonya

My Apologies

I feel like I owe you, gracious readers, an apology for my last outburst on stupidity. After all, it’s not your fault. You have been duped by your government, your television, your well-meaning doctor, and the manufacturers of your food in to believing that what they say, promote, prescribe or sell to you must be good for you. Since y’all are so busy with jobs and kids and chores you don’t have the time to disseminate the facts from fiction. That’s where I come in. I AM here to help you help yourself. I AM here to educate, inspire, and motivate you into feeling amazing every day. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. I am NOT here to judge, nag, or berate you for your choices, unless you’re my husband. As grown-up people, you are responsible for your own actions. I’m just here to let you know there is a better way…

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Stay Vibrant!
Tonya

Run, Forrest, Run

It’s a somber day at best as we wrestle with the type of person who places bombs at the end of one of the most prestigious running events in the world. As a runner, I can only imagine how quickly joy and exhilaration turned to terror and dismay, and I am brought to my knees. As a human being, seeing the bloody photographs and knowing, amongst others, that a little 8 year old boy is dead, I am brought to tears. Prayers and blessings to all those affected and to our nation.

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Stay Vibrant!
Tonya