Category Archives: relationships

Bouncing Back

Will you be ready when your life changes on a dime? Will you have the coping skills to recover from unexpected heartbreak? Will you have the motivation to get the job of your dreams once you’ve been fired? It’s not easy to pack up and move when your spouse gets re-located. Again. Life has a way of deciding for you when you’re too hesitant or scared to choose for yourself. Put some of these tips in your toolbox the next time something unanticipated comes your way.

Attitude is EVERYTHING!

You cannot control the circumstances that surround you but you are in control of one thing, YOU. Attitude IS everything BUT it is ok to appropriately grieve. It’s okay to feel sad and angry when your lover has betrayed you. It’s okay to feel disappointed to be let go of a job. It is okay to regret houses, jobs, pets and friends lost due to moving too many times. Allow yourself time to feel and fully experience these emotions. Expect difficulties. There will be stretches when you’re fine and other periods, not so much. With time, the overwhelming episodes will subside in frequency and intensity.  It is NOT okay, however, to wallow in self-pity and condemnation. This serves no purpose. You have the power to change the story you tell yourself. It is your responsibility to control your inner conversation. The one that tells you you’re not good enough or not worthy or is doomed to fail or be alone. Take a closer look at what you are saying to yourself. Enthusiasm begets enthusiasm. You DO become what you think. A negative event can awaken ambition, motivation, and persistence, which leads to progress and success.

Don’t Place Blame

Looking for someone outside of yourself to blame for your current situation takes the responsibility off you and puts it on someone or something else. This wastes negative energy trying to find fault or justify and defend why you are the victim. The reality is no one cares. Your friends and family will listen for a minute while you rant about the unfairness of downsizing, divorcing, moving or a litany of things gone wrong. You need to think about how to adjust to the new situation and either fix it, improve it, or make the most of it. Sometimes, you just need to find the lesson and move on.

Nourish Your Body and Soul

Times of change, welcome or not, produces great stress. Now more than ever take the time to eat right, drink plenty of water and get some fresh air and sunshine. Rest and relaxation are equally important. Journaling can be a form of mediation and a great way to express any repetitive thought patterns that arise from unexpected transitions. Run it out. Write it out. But let it out and let it go.

New Vision

It is never too late to reinvent your life. Unexpected change is a time for just that. What are you passionate about? Take time to reflect on who you are and what you want your life to look like. Is it time to go back to school? Quit your job and travel? Go into business for yourself? Take an art or dance class? Find what excites you and pursue it. Focus only on the present moment and what you can do right now to create your best life.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on the old but on building the new.” — Socrates

Live in your truth,

Tonya

I Have Proof!

That’s right. I have proof. I have proof that eating real food on a regular basis supports health. Eliminating the three-scoops-of-rocky-road-ice cream-banana-splits, complete with marshmallow topping, whipped cream and cherries, was the beginning.

Really, the beginning was my husband’s blood work from earlier this year that showed he was on track for diabetes and heart issues. Fasting blood sugar high. Triglycerides, or “bad” cholesterol, were high and “good” or HDL cholesterol were low. Markers for inflammation, in the high risk range. Below normal vitamin D levels. Low “T”, or testosterone which, thankfully, produced no symptoms beyond a bit of fatigue. Wink, wink.

It was time to go food nazi on my man. It’s like the wife whose husband is a house painter or a landscaper and they live in the ugliest house on the block. Here I am, a nutritional health coach, and my own husband is at risk for potential health issues. Not a great testimony.

He was very compliant after my initial excitement over his test results. I asked him to please do things my way for four months and we’ll go from there. He agreed. He quit his after dinner snacking on sweets. He took his lunch that I made instead of eating out every day. He gave up grande, white chocolate mochas. Up until last week, he hasn’t been near ice cream. I fed and continue to feed him LOTS of vegetables, plenty of protein, a bit of fruit, lots of avocados and almonds and very little else. We do eat a bit of rice or potatoes and have tortillas but only once in a while. I cooked chicken and burgers in bacon fat and couldn’t help conventional wisdom whispering in my ear that all that saturated fat was killing my husband.

But guess what. It didn’t. In fact, my husband is close to being in the best shape of his life. He had already lost about 15 pounds before he was forced to be more diligent with his fork. Now, more than four months later, he’s down a total of 60 pounds! Normal blood sugar! Cholesterol ratios much improved! Marker of inflammation from high risk to low! Testosterone up and vitamin D went from below normal to close to optimal! No medicine or prescription drugs! Just real, fresh food and a few carefully selected supplements!

I’m sure, if left to his own devices, my husband would not choose as wisely as often, but that’s what he has me for. He says he wants to do yoga with me now…

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Stay Vibrant!
Tonya

No Comfort In Food Today

What’s one of the first things you do when someone you know dies? You mourn. You take food to the family. Or people bring food to you. As the parents, siblings, spouses and friends of the Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy how do you ever eat again?

Now, more than ever is a time to gather your loved ones around you and treasure every minute. If you’re miles apart, pick up the phone and tell them you how you feel. Time is short. Don’t waste precious energy on petty family squabbles or your hard earned-money on giving and gathering stuff. Hug everyone. Especially the children in your life.

No amount of food; comfort, organic or otherwise will dull the devastation right now.

Rest in peace Charlotte, Daniel, Olivia, Josephine, Ana, Dylan, Madeleine, Catherine, Chase, Jesse, James, Grace, Emilie, Jack, Noah, Caroline, Jessica, Avielle, Benjamin, Allison, Mary, Victoria, Anne, Lauren, Dawn, and Rachel.

You’re all angels now.

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Love and Peace,
Tonya

Dr. Oz is NOT your Shepherd!

I’ve been holding off on writing about my love/hate relationship with Dr. Oz but now I have to vent! First, why I love him. He encourages the masses to improve their health. Period. Now, why I hate him. He encourages the masses to improve their health using a variety of conventional and not-so-conventional foods, herbs and supplements. I hate this because I work for a rather large health food store. The day after an episode of Dr. Oz people come in with their list of the latest and greatest pills and potions proven to help with _______, you fill in the blank. Stress, insomnia, weight loss, blood pressure, you name it, Dr. Oz has a solution for it and people want it. Now. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great for business. Raspberry ketones. Garcinia cambogia. Lemon balm. Konjac root fiber. Some are normal. Most are not. What bugs me the more is most people take what he says at face value without doing any further research for themselves. Streams of sheep flow in looking for the quick fix for health issues that took months and years to manifest due primarily to diet and lifestyle. When Dr. Oz recently talked about green coffee bean extract and losing weight WITHOUT changing your diet or exercising, we couldn’t keep it on the shelf! This magic pill continues to sell at a phenomenal rate. When I can, I educate my customers about improving the quality of their food choices and also suggest some form of physical activity. I recently had a client whose list included four very different weight loss supplements recommended by Dr. Oz. She insisted on purchasing all four although I tried to persuade her to try one at a time so that she knew which one really worked. Nope. She wanted all four and when I started to mention diet and exercise she stopped me mid-sentence and directly informed me that she had NO intention of changing anything. She hated exercising and loved food way too much, evident by her more than jolly size. Wow. I gave her my card in case she changed her mind. Freewill, certainly. My frustration lies in that if everything he suggests or recommends really works, why are people still fat and sick. Why? Because no one wants to give up the crappy foods that are making them fat and sick to begin with. Like this woman, they want their cake and the magic pill that will prevent that cake from going straight to their already fat butt.

What set me off about Dr. Oz this morning was his appearance on the Today Show and the 99% diet, meant for 99% of the people. Organic frozen veggies. Canned salmon. Ok. But microwave popcorn? Good ‘ol supermarket meat? Skippy peanut butter? Wheat wraps? Really Dr. Oz? When Matt asked you about Skippy, you said sure. You did mention looking out for added salt, (or maybe it was sugar, I was already seething by then). Skippy not only has both added salt and sugar but artery hardening, hydrogenated oils as well. As for hormone-riddled, grain-fed, antibiotic-filled conventional meat? That sentence says enough. Wheat wraps? Have you missed the current science on the health issues involving wheat consumption? And could something as innocuous as microwave popcorn be more toxic?

Sorry Dr. Oz. You missed the mark on this one.

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Be Vibrant!
Tonya

Celebrate Your Life!

Have you ever noticed that most of your ordinary days, your triumphs and your defeats, even life and death, revolve around food and drink? What do you do to help the new mom next door with a new baby, two other kids under four and a husband who works a 60 hour week?? Bring food. What do you do after the funeral of your great Uncle Martin? Eat and reminisce. What about holidays spent with family you see once a year? Eat and reminisce. Your husband’s promotion at work? Out to dinner of course! Meeting up with a girlfriend or two? Will it be coffee or cocktails? I’m sure you feel me by now.

Sometimes uncomfortable news is easier to give over a beer at your favorite bar because you know your soon-to-be-ex-husband refuses to cry in public. Or at the table of your local mexican restaurant because you know your mother won’t make a scene.  I know because I’ve been at both tables. The first one years ago and bless you Donnie for not making it more difficult than it already was. The other table, however, was a few short days ago. The mother of my husband’s children, I hate calling them my “stepkids” because they mean more to me than that, came to visit from California with her husband. What’s the first thing we did? We all met for dinner. Along with the young man Courtney has been spending time with.  And the “uncomfortable” news? I’m sure, smart readers, you’ve guessed it.  C ( we call her “C” sometimes), had to tell her mom she’s pregnant. At 19. Seven months after moving out on her own. Oops. Reactions ranged from tears to rage all in the span of few moments. Tears because although we are excited to have another grandchild, (we have precious Owen, who is three and half, back home in California with my oldest son Billy), we know the road she is travelling won’t be easy. Doable, of course. Just not easy. The young man took the verbal licking from all the adults at the table for the rest of the meal, while we encouraged and consoled and considered the new momma and the future of this instant little addition to the family. Over food. And drinks. Lots of them. Just kidding.