Have you ever noticed that most of your ordinary days, your triumphs and your defeats, even life and death, revolve around food and drink? What do you do to help the new mom next door with a new baby, two other kids under four and a husband who works a 60 hour week?? Bring food. What do you do after the funeral of your great Uncle Martin? Eat and reminisce. What about holidays spent with family you see once a year? Eat and reminisce. Your husband’s promotion at work? Out to dinner of course! Meeting up with a girlfriend or two? Will it be coffee or cocktails? I’m sure you feel me by now.
Sometimes uncomfortable news is easier to give over a beer at your favorite bar because you know your soon-to-be-ex-husband refuses to cry in public. Or at the table of your local mexican restaurant because you know your mother won’t make a scene. I know because I’ve been at both tables. The first one years ago and bless you Donnie for not making it more difficult than it already was. The other table, however, was a few short days ago. The mother of my husband’s children, I hate calling them my “stepkids” because they mean more to me than that, came to visit from California with her husband. What’s the first thing we did? We all met for dinner. Along with the young man Courtney has been spending time with. And the “uncomfortable” news? I’m sure, smart readers, you’ve guessed it. C ( we call her “C” sometimes), had to tell her mom she’s pregnant. At 19. Seven months after moving out on her own. Oops. Reactions ranged from tears to rage all in the span of few moments. Tears because although we are excited to have another grandchild, (we have precious Owen, who is three and half, back home in California with my oldest son Billy), we know the road she is travelling won’t be easy. Doable, of course. Just not easy. The young man took the verbal licking from all the adults at the table for the rest of the meal, while we encouraged and consoled and considered the new momma and the future of this instant little addition to the family. Over food. And drinks. Lots of them. Just kidding.